Sunday morning , wake up at 7.15 sharp, go campus jogging with another penangnite , Ron Bin. It rains suddenly when we were having some chit chat, fecthed him home and rode my way back , but end up having my breakfast alone in a coffee shop....It has been such a long time I have my meal alone in a coffee shop or food court.
I'm a guy who used to isolated, by myself, past and present, may be future as well, perhaps due to that I hate having meal alone in a crowded place, It make feel like I'm more lonely than I actually is. I neither hate isolation , nor I like it anyway, after you are disappointed by those who you think they should not have disappointed you...I used to live in my own world, doing all I can by myself instead of asking ppl help, even in the scout, I always do something alone which I think I'm capable of, a sardonic thinking huh? And I end up oversight many things, oversight our friendship, the others' ability and oversight my mistakes....
But now, again , I'm considering back to alone again . It make me stronger , definitely. Without expecting other will help you, you will do all the way by yourself and wunt be disappointed by other anymore, at the end, you will jz end up hating yourself for your inadequacy instead of blaming other for their incapibility or their self-fishness if anything happen, it sound not so bad huh? Perhaps this time I can do it in a smarter way , be alone, but not rejecting anyone come to my life nor expecting anythings from them. After all , they are just some passangers in my life, leave a mark in my heart and walk away. I merely got myself, after all...
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