__UntitLeD__

__Early morning of Saturday__

I will always be there for you? I can stand still and let you slap till you satisfy if you wish, for this damn sweet word I've told you....

__sand castle__

I build it,

for years,
with tremendous patience,

and unexpected carefullness,

but,

I tear it down in an instant,

for the reason I not even understand why,

yet,

I'm not regretting,

nor I'm hesitating,

I just dunt understand why....

__When A Promise Turn Sour__

It started,
when we are young,
naive enough to believe what the another had said,
never been hesitate when telling a promise,
never realise how much a promise mean .
Till the day,
we are mature enough to realise,
the cinderella story isnt that sweet after all,
we'd break our so-called promise once a while after all,
we'd too tired to entertain each other after all.
after all,
only we realise, the distance is growing,
many is left unspoken lately.
I started wondering, how much am I mean to you?
how seriuos you are, taking the words that I have told you?
Perhaps you did so as well,
when darkness engulf the night,
you grib the blanket ,
brimming with tear in your eye's corner,
not understand why I've been so cold lately.
I,me too, not understand, why I choose to hurt you so badly.
The pain, bleed my heart,
Yet, I'm too weary to explain, too drained to argue.
Wondering will you start blaming me?
for the broken promise,
or you never believe in that after all?
We view the story from ours own view, respectively,
and cant understand the other's,
when a promise turn sour...

_JoKe_

It seems like just a joke to you huh?

__A Sunday Morning__

Sunday morning , wake up at 7.15 sharp, go campus jogging with another penangnite , Ron Bin. It rains suddenly when we were having some chit chat, fecthed him home and rode my way back , but end up having my breakfast alone in a coffee shop....It has been such a long time I have my meal alone in a coffee shop or food court.

I'm a guy who used to isolated, by myself, past and present, may be future as well, perhaps due to that I hate having meal alone in a crowded place, It make feel like I'm more lonely than I actually is. I neither hate isolation , nor I like it anyway, after you are disappointed by those who you think they should not have disappointed you...I used to live in my own world, doing all I can by myself instead of asking ppl help, even in the scout, I always do something alone which I think I'm capable of, a sardonic thinking huh? And I end up oversight many things, oversight our friendship, the others' ability and oversight my mistakes....

But now, again , I'm considering back to alone again . It make me stronger , definitely. Without expecting other will help you, you will do all the way by yourself and wunt be disappointed by other anymore, at the end, you will jz end up hating yourself for your inadequacy instead of blaming other for their incapibility or their self-fishness if anything happen, it sound not so bad huh? Perhaps this time I can do it in a smarter way , be alone, but not rejecting anyone come to my life nor expecting anythings from them. After all , they are just some passangers in my life, leave a mark in my heart and walk away. I merely got myself, after all...

_My Mood_

It is current my mood is, calm , but keep stirring, stirring, deep inside, in a slow but dangerous way, I need time.....

__Self-Mocking__

After all , I cant stop laughing at myself for my stupidity

__My MasterPieces__

Top: This is the model making and landscape we produce during the Talent Camp 2003, my team is combined with SGGS Girl Guide, I'm proudly be incharged of designing and producing the main tower of the landscape ( the taller building in the center) , with all my teammates' help , I manage to finish it timely. And tell you a secret, it is the proudest day of my life when we submitted the model for display before judgement, we manage to take all attentionof the participants ....and many of my seniors praise me for my first master piece for model making , however , my result drop to 296/600 for that time, haha....Of course , we get champion for model making competition.. the whole model is given to SGGS girl guide after that Camp....

MIddle: I do it during mid year of Form 4, we plan to take part in Chung Ling Butterworth campfire , but at last due to the collison with our own camp, we cancel to join that camp. And only we realise after attending the campfire, even only with this gate way , we can get champion for Model Making Competition, but it is too late, and none of the outsider know about this "masterpiece" existence...

Bottom: I do it during the holiday after spm till I get into Mmu, each take me 2~3 months, tremendous patience is needed for these my proudest masterpiece

__A Too Familiar Ridiculous Experience__

It was 6.00 pm something in the evening, I jz come back from library, I turn on my music player and repeat the song "Innocence" by Avril Lavinge before I head to bed .....

It come again, I think....It is the feeling that I familiar with , but till now I still cant explain wat is that...eye lids are so heavy , even i try to open my eye to see wat happen , but I cant...I cleary know that is not dream , very clear, yet I cant open my eyes to see....I told myself , all will be ok soon , you have encounter it many times , nothing different....suddenly, I felt breatheless, suffocating, I told myself to be calm , it is jz over exhausted, I told myself...and I can listen to the incoherent sound of the song, very low , but i can hear...I calm myself, try to follow the direction of the sound, although I still cant open my eyes...and slowly, the sound become louder and lounder, I relief, I know all gonna be ok soon.....and something come to my mind, why dunt I open my eye and see what is in front of me? I hesitate, I try to open , but in my mind, I know , the distance is still far away, far away from the reality, from my world......so I give up , and continue "float" to the direction of the song...And...I wake up....sweat in my forehead ....I stand up , wondering , what might appear in front of me if I open my eye that moment.....luckily, I am free of the ominous pressure on my body this time, that "pressure" that prevent me to sit up last time....


From the scientific view, we said it is due to over exhausted, and I dunt deny that I have lacked of sleep this few day.....From the superstitious view? perhaps you all should get wat I gonna say....

Nowadays

Tomorrow is the Tag Team Tournamnet 2008 , and now is almost 12.00 am , suddenly wanna write something before sleep ...

Many things change, people , environment , study and even myself . Few days before , jz recover from some fever and flu , quite weak nowadays har? After this tournament , finally i can concentrate myself on my study , pathetically , not doing well in those mid term tests, and have to put more effort in it....jz do my best as I always do, but not to pursuit perfection in wateva I involved in .People come people go , after this June , some final year senior of TTC are gonna leave , perhaps I dunt have any chances to meet with them anymore ....and after this June , life will be more tasteless .... all the best for those players tomorrow and to myself, and all the best to those who gonna withral , from my life......

_She_

-She is shy
-She is well temper and self protective
-She is easily touched , especially by drama
-She is blur, always forget what she had been told or what she had told
-She is emotional , when come to love , study , family and friend
-She is a good friend to mix with , but dunt ever take her for granted
-She is a good listener , but not a good advisor? she said
-She play flute in SGGS band in secondary school
-She has a loving "mother" and a fierce "sister" , 3 together so call Charlie angels
-She is a serious gal , towards love , friendship and word.
-She said, trust is a very seriously word, so that is why she seldom say it if she doesnt mean it
-And she wunt easily give ppl muackz or miss you before sign out from msn
-If she say that, guy , it must be your luckiest day!!! She really mean it!!!!
-She loves manila ice cream and cheese cake
-She is a fervent collector of sweaters and watches
-She like to say " what will be will be", in convincing herself about some particular stuff?
-She dunt like flattering sweet word, although it is enjoyable to listen , for that fleeting moment
-And she is the first fan of my LOVE picture
-Some call her emo shan , some call her sun shine, but i call her , shanshan o shanshan~
-Last , but not least, gal , I'm glad that can get to know you , you have accompanied me through a dozens of miserable nights, spare your time listen to my problems and make me feeling better. I wish that this friendship will never fade no matter where we go , how unfrequently we chat in future


*Dedicated to a depart soon good friend