__Journal.2 - Me__

The first post of my journal after the brief introduction regarding my journal , I would like to talk about MySelf ...

Who am I to you guys? Hw much do you guys understand me even we have being friend for so many years? Emo ?Fake? Sentimental?Arrogant? Strong ? Athletic? Smart ? Asshole? Good buddy to mixed with? Or one of those who will just find you guys when i need your help ? Anyway , I dunt think anyone can give me a satisfying answer , because I'm also not capable of giving myself the answer , that is why I write journal, to make myself understand more about myself.....

I 'm GheeOon , some call me laukao ( monkey in hokkien ) , ya i missed those who call me this nickname , a nickname that will only be called by my true secondary school buddy , my "heng tai" in scout group ...20 when writting this post , penangnite , currently stay in Lebuh Macallum with my Dad and grandma...Oh, you may be ask that where is my mum ? Proud to tell that she'd divorced with my dad when i was in year 5 , not mean to be sarcastic , but I just dunt think it is something that need to be ashame of when talking about my family background , YES , I'm from a broken family. Currently study in MMu , Grammar year of Degree in Mechanical Engineering.

My view toward myself is , I'm an arrogant guy .... Ya, I always think that I can do better than the others when it comes to somethings , but when I have the opportunity to do that , I always screw it , and it is not the first time it make me scold myself " What you are capable of when you are criticising other"? Dunt you feel digusting about that traits? Yes I do as well , so I'm changing. No one like an arrogant people , I know that , coz I hate that as well. Emo, ya very very emo , especially when it comes to relationship stuff, I always fail to control myself to cross the line , I might treat someone very good , but I also "hope" that she will do so to me ...and I have laughed myself over and over again , WHO ARE YOU???? [ I use "hope" because Hope , refer to Mr.Felix is you strongly wish the person to do it for you even though they are not willing to, and that is one of my weaknessas well] I'm no longer determined like last time, I'm impatient , discouraged , coward when come to some challenges, lazy,passive ...ya I admit, I really wanna shout at myself that " You are not the hero as you think you are , asshole!!!!"

However , I also like some of my traits, I'm honest , and I have no secret, I wunt hide anything of myself , as long as you dare to ask me , I will tell ....but those you never ask and I never tell , it is still remain as secret, and I'm straight , if I find that i really dunt like someone , I wunt force myself to fake a smile for him/her, it might not be a good charateristic , especially when it comes to work, but I like it , coz i dunt fake .So a people like me would hardly enter the business field. Stubborn , it make me follow the rules strictly , for good , and it also makes me follow my feeling , stubbornly, for bad...

so what you guys think who I'm ? leave me some comments, so i will know who am I in your eye , seriously I wunt angry even you are criticising me badly , i just want to understand myself more...