_My Mood_

It is current my mood is, calm , but keep stirring, stirring, deep inside, in a slow but dangerous way, I need time.....

__Self-Mocking__

After all , I cant stop laughing at myself for my stupidity

__My MasterPieces__

Top: This is the model making and landscape we produce during the Talent Camp 2003, my team is combined with SGGS Girl Guide, I'm proudly be incharged of designing and producing the main tower of the landscape ( the taller building in the center) , with all my teammates' help , I manage to finish it timely. And tell you a secret, it is the proudest day of my life when we submitted the model for display before judgement, we manage to take all attentionof the participants ....and many of my seniors praise me for my first master piece for model making , however , my result drop to 296/600 for that time, haha....Of course , we get champion for model making competition.. the whole model is given to SGGS girl guide after that Camp....

MIddle: I do it during mid year of Form 4, we plan to take part in Chung Ling Butterworth campfire , but at last due to the collison with our own camp, we cancel to join that camp. And only we realise after attending the campfire, even only with this gate way , we can get champion for Model Making Competition, but it is too late, and none of the outsider know about this "masterpiece" existence...

Bottom: I do it during the holiday after spm till I get into Mmu, each take me 2~3 months, tremendous patience is needed for these my proudest masterpiece

__A Too Familiar Ridiculous Experience__

It was 6.00 pm something in the evening, I jz come back from library, I turn on my music player and repeat the song "Innocence" by Avril Lavinge before I head to bed .....

It come again, I think....It is the feeling that I familiar with , but till now I still cant explain wat is that...eye lids are so heavy , even i try to open my eye to see wat happen , but I cant...I cleary know that is not dream , very clear, yet I cant open my eyes to see....I told myself , all will be ok soon , you have encounter it many times , nothing different....suddenly, I felt breatheless, suffocating, I told myself to be calm , it is jz over exhausted, I told myself...and I can listen to the incoherent sound of the song, very low , but i can hear...I calm myself, try to follow the direction of the sound, although I still cant open my eyes...and slowly, the sound become louder and lounder, I relief, I know all gonna be ok soon.....and something come to my mind, why dunt I open my eye and see what is in front of me? I hesitate, I try to open , but in my mind, I know , the distance is still far away, far away from the reality, from my world......so I give up , and continue "float" to the direction of the song...And...I wake up....sweat in my forehead ....I stand up , wondering , what might appear in front of me if I open my eye that moment.....luckily, I am free of the ominous pressure on my body this time, that "pressure" that prevent me to sit up last time....


From the scientific view, we said it is due to over exhausted, and I dunt deny that I have lacked of sleep this few day.....From the superstitious view? perhaps you all should get wat I gonna say....

Nowadays

Tomorrow is the Tag Team Tournamnet 2008 , and now is almost 12.00 am , suddenly wanna write something before sleep ...

Many things change, people , environment , study and even myself . Few days before , jz recover from some fever and flu , quite weak nowadays har? After this tournament , finally i can concentrate myself on my study , pathetically , not doing well in those mid term tests, and have to put more effort in it....jz do my best as I always do, but not to pursuit perfection in wateva I involved in .People come people go , after this June , some final year senior of TTC are gonna leave , perhaps I dunt have any chances to meet with them anymore ....and after this June , life will be more tasteless .... all the best for those players tomorrow and to myself, and all the best to those who gonna withral , from my life......

_She_

-She is shy
-She is well temper and self protective
-She is easily touched , especially by drama
-She is blur, always forget what she had been told or what she had told
-She is emotional , when come to love , study , family and friend
-She is a good friend to mix with , but dunt ever take her for granted
-She is a good listener , but not a good advisor? she said
-She play flute in SGGS band in secondary school
-She has a loving "mother" and a fierce "sister" , 3 together so call Charlie angels
-She is a serious gal , towards love , friendship and word.
-She said, trust is a very seriously word, so that is why she seldom say it if she doesnt mean it
-And she wunt easily give ppl muackz or miss you before sign out from msn
-If she say that, guy , it must be your luckiest day!!! She really mean it!!!!
-She loves manila ice cream and cheese cake
-She is a fervent collector of sweaters and watches
-She like to say " what will be will be", in convincing herself about some particular stuff?
-She dunt like flattering sweet word, although it is enjoyable to listen , for that fleeting moment
-And she is the first fan of my LOVE picture
-Some call her emo shan , some call her sun shine, but i call her , shanshan o shanshan~
-Last , but not least, gal , I'm glad that can get to know you , you have accompanied me through a dozens of miserable nights, spare your time listen to my problems and make me feeling better. I wish that this friendship will never fade no matter where we go , how unfrequently we chat in future


*Dedicated to a depart soon good friend

_Brother's message_

朋友 不敢保证能一辈子，但庆幸不管哪一段路途总有不同的朋友相伴， 你是其中的一个； 在忙碌的生活中不忘送你我真心的祝福....爽爽出来玩 dota ，爽爽一句懒琶，爽爽一句懒叫；爽爽一句 noob！这才叫真心的朋友


I cant promised you that we can be fren for whole life, but I'm lucky that I always have so many frens to be with me in my life, you are one of them; not forgetting to give you my sincere bless in the busy life....Go out for DOTA once a while , scold you Lanjiao once a while, scold you Lampa once a while, scold you Noob once a while ! That is what we call brother....



From my fren , Mr. chuah yi chin aka huhu....a bit rude ..but is touching anyway ^^

_Not even a piece in my mind_

Is that what you want from all of me?
Getting all my love but fill me with emptiness
I never blamed , I never said
If that is what you want from all of me

Is that what you wish to do with me?
Sneering at my effort while I stumbling by
Saying me I 'm such a fool like other do
not even realise for who I so fool

I wish not to say 'gain how much I love you
I wish not to say 'gain how strong I wanna hold you
It seem so fake in ear of you
even I could say it a thousand times

You owe me nothing but memory
That is what I left , please dunt take it away
Dunt ever apologise It mean ntg to you and I
Why dunt you keep it in the bottom of your heart

Dozen of promises you said with ease
Never understood how serious I take it
I've fall into your trap
and now I watch my way back
It's time for me to regain my step

I will be there for you incase you need of me
But not like last time when I ready to give everythings
Dunt ever blame me for cant keep my promise well
I wonder if it ever mean something to you

Someone is out there for me who realli care how I feel
She is always with me whenever and wherever
Time will flow, memory will fade
Till the day you realise
You're not even a piece in my mind

Till the day tou realise
You're not even a piece in my mind


P.s another most satisfying masterpiece, hope you all love it too ..^^
(kindly be reminded that is not a story of mine)

_FedUp_

FedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedupFedup

_ELIZABETHTOWN_

Well, 4.00 pm in the evening , jz back from work , holding my chocolate favor dumstick , i played the ELIZABETHTOWN for the second time....

It starts with how guy ( Drew ) is fired by an Big American Shoe Company due to his fiasco of designing a shoe which has costed the company 972 millios which can round up to 1 billion. He get back home, get ready to suicide. suddenly, his handphone ring, he try not to bother at first , perhaps it is disturbing him to suicide nicely , so he pick up the phone finally. Here comes another bad news, his beloved dad ( Mitch ) has just passed away while visiting his old friend Uncle Dale in ElizabethTown. Since he is the eldest , he have to take the responsibility to work out his dad's funeral. He take a flight , and he meet a stewender, Claire, a cheerish gal who like to travel so much. She seem has fell in love to him at the first sight . They chat whole night , or should be said drew is forced to listen for whole night, he doest not pay much attention to her, perhaps he is too exhausted and frastrated due to his fiasco n his dad's death. She gave his her number before she leave.

He reached , the small but freindly town,he is greeted by a lot of people along the way to the graveyard and stunned by the friendship among his dad and all the residents here , he can even see the road sign which is wrote " In loving memory with Mitch". Although his dad has left this town since he get marry with his mum many years ago , but the friendship and botherhood they hold on is so close , everyone sad with his death and try to help as much as possible in his coming funeral. Drew dunno anyone there , and embarrased by their enthusiast to help. Back to hotel , exhausted, he calls, his sis , mum and his ex , ellen.....but at the end he end up chatting whole night with Claire , the one not so important to him at the beginning...They chat , happily , endlessly till next day morning. They meet and see sunset together, she suggest him to take a chance to travel along and enjoy the journey , he take it , he will do it in the way bak home.They parts, she gonna go Hawaii, he dissapointed , but not to show. he get back to hotel after discussing the memorial .Suprisingly, she doesnot go to Hawaii, they hang out , they shop , they play , sweetly and memorablely....she told him ," we are just a substitute in other life and Ben is coming tomorrow", dunno wat to say , he just listen.. before they part , they look at each other , eye close, moving forward , but doesnt not kiss , they caress each other with their face , the moment is soooo sweet , guys you gonna check it out.

Next day, after get his dad's burned corpse ( dunno the actually specific name ) , he meet her again in hotel, in the wedding eve of CHUCK N CINDY, Ben doesnt come anyway.....after some talk , the love seed ignite within them , they kiss , sweetly , and have sex ......every moment when he is with her , it so happy and enjoyable, perhaps that is due to her cheerish characteristic.....and next day, before she leave , she puprposely kick the bed , drop her beg , hoping that it will awake him and ask her not to leave, however , it is too exhausting for him for the past few days.....Finally he wake up, running across the street , he told her wat fiasco he gonna face and he wish not to include her in his dark future, but he is wrong , she not mind that , she realli not mind that , she jz want he told her how much he love her and ask her not to leave....but he not understand...

In the memorial of his father , we will showed again the bond between his dad and the residents of ElizabethTown , and the family bond of Drew...She give him a detail map for the journey home, provided with music and instruction , timing of the musics to play....He enjoy it , he realli enjoy it along the way , the music she provides, the good morning message she wrote in the map , and of course the destinies she set..he reach the final destiny , second largest farmer market of the world...proceed with the hints she give , he is given 2 choices , " go to your car and the rest of teh direction will lead you home, or....look for a gal in red hat , she is waiting for you with an alternate plan " not to mention which choice he takes , they meet , hugs and kisses ......it come the happyly ending of the story.......


Life changes when something which is not part of our plan get in our life,it is lucky that i have watched it for the second time , although i find it abit boring when I fers watch it , one year ago , perhaps....for those who think it is boring as well, watch it for the second time , give it a second chance to melt ur heart and also give yourself a second chance to be touched ...^^

I wish can hug the one and watch this romantic movie together, in future ......

_The way_

Year end of 2005
I meet someone, first time get so close with a girl , not even know what is the feeling call , feel ease when talk to her, heart suppose to beat faster if you love someone right ? but I'm not.

1 of May of 2006
I though everything gonna come to end, composing a song about the future with her , a not-so-good ending song...

Beginning of June
It is the time that I get to know how sweet love is , naively, strongly believe as long as I love her , all will be ok....but conversation is lessening, the feeling is fading , althought it never start.

Year end of 2006
meet someone , is it better try to in love with a person who always here for you to share your joy n pain instead of .....? well , that is jz wat I need but not what I want....so i find out it is onli like but not love. It is lucky that I can still have her as my best friend , from time to time , share my happiness and listen to my grief.


June of 2007
Just want you to be happy , with me , or without me ....I told myself.

July of 2007
Again , confused by the temporarily intimacy, I decide to be strong , but defeated after two week ....

After that
Life getting busy , longing for the sweetness of love , once a while , but not so often. Getting stronger , mental and physically ? Think so ..

Now
Expecting nothing, Love need two people, no matter how much I love you , that is not enough ...I will always be here no matter what happen in future, as friend , or perhaps...So dunt apologise again , you owe me nothing...

_Table Tennis_

When i first start playing
hit the ball hit ball , to the angle they can return , hit the bal hit the ball, no fear no matter who is your opponent
After that
What am I lacking ? realising hw great and how many effort have those players put in , make me screw , and worry....
So I
Spend more time to train , but is all about hitting the ball also , jz in the better technique
I think
Now I should be better , even towards those expects , I will be ok
but
ntg change much , they improve as well...
Due to study
play less and less, study come first , inventing in sport is jz for those who got both the talent and money, someone told me ....
In the tournament, I decide
I shall train more, perhaps one day I will have my own audiences and they will clap for me ...
before yesterday
Steady , wait for chance , watch your step , when it's time, swing your waist , move forward, attack with full strenght , ready for the return , no rush no rush....
yestersay
Tired and exhausted.....

_My first half 3rd sem of beta year__

Well, it come to an end for my first half-sem of beta third sem , there are alot thing happen in this short two months . First, is the intervarsity tournament , it goes well in that 3 days, thanks for the ghelping from AH HUI, CHAN TECK HSIE , DA BING and AH GOH , thx so much from your guys .We had have some awesome match in the tournament , especially the national player from HELP play against the champion of all Universities in Malaysia from UM , unfortunately , USM cant make it for the tournament , if not we will have more awesome match to be seen and learned. I get to know Wei Chong from UM, ex state player of Penang , a nice guy who never find no topic to chat with you, yet not annoying , not to mention his table tennis skill , he is such a great player, hopefully he can undergo his operation soon and rest well in order to get back to his top form. The result for the tourna is USM get the first place, second place HELP, third place MMU Melacca....Second , is about the news of STPM and SPM candidates, some of my friends did very well in their exam but some not so good, but no matter what result you get , you should proud with it , it is wat you get with all the effort you have put in , dunt feel upset with it even you cant get what you expect... and we study because of ourselves, not for other, I know that is pressuring when got people expect you to get a better grade , but all will be ok , at least you all have try your best. I would give a loud applause to my fren from SPM , she get a very good result for herself ^^, hopefully she can continue to work hard in her future....Thirdly, is about my mid term tests, I have gone through 3 papers, I spend 20 minutes for the first paper and rush for the tournament meeting , i think it is quite easy for everyone . The second paper should be not bad also , but the third paper is not so good after all, not only me , but all of my frens and I m not upset with it , I did my best and much more than the majority of other do . I've put in my effort for this semester. Frankly speaking , I aim for 4 flat, should work harder for the coming half semester. Speaking about Table Tennis, I m abit tired about it , especially after some "funny" thing happen in yesterday. I have found some thing for me finally, it is the first time i study for myself , thinking about getting a better result for myself . I know that it is not necessary can get a good result even you put in alot of effort , but it certainly will be worse if you do not put in any effort at all. She broke, unfortunately , I wish she can take her time to rest and think twice for what she want for the next in relationship and study, and as I have promised, i will be there for her no matter wat yet expecting ntg from her in future. Jz want to be in her life , even a friend will do. Again , there are some stupid misunderstanding between me and my best female friend yeap shan shan aka chau shanshan , perhaps i've expect too much from her , but yet she thought she is only a small potato to me....anyway, we settled it well, luckily I didnt lose her as my best friend. It is for the first time I'll go back during my mid term break since I have being here for around 2 years...


Life is great when you expecting ntg from someone, so you can always get suprise, and it is tedious if you expect too much from someone, from frens or gal, so I'm learning to make my life greater by expecting ntg from anyone yet doing my best for those who I care

Geo.King_______

_It Hurts_

" Live the way that make your life easier, that is what most of the human do"

Some people cheat, some pretend,

some being generous, being caring , but some self centered and self-fished

some work hard , some give up , some live with passion , some not

some trust and mistrust, some lie,

some understand but some twist the word....

we cant make everyone agree with our life style, but at least we can make our life easier right?

It hurt when you found out those you trust betray you , although i'm expecting ntg from them , but it still hurt ....It hurt more when you've found out the truth, you get disappointed toward them ....and It hurt the most when you have to be cold towards those who you used to care so much so much . And now who dunno who you should trust, which frenship you should carry on.....I dunt nid your apologise or excuses, because that is your life style, you jz trying to make your life easier , I understood.... so I withraw , by hurting and being hurt , perhaps ....it sound fake, but I appreciate those days you with me , I appreciate those accompanion you gave me .... I cool , coz I dunt want to argue, I cool , coz I dunt want know the truth , I cool , coz I dunt want be an obstacle in the way you make your life easier .....

it hurts thou when I have to treat you lidat , it realli hurt....

_So that is how it end again_

Is it better not to expect someone to treat you too good? so you wunt get disappointed easily? I'm trying hard on that , perhaps I jz too much, and when I'm no longer expecting anything from you , I'm seriously no longer care about it , I have do my best , no matter you believe or not, realise it or not, but it is over....it is over